Can You Take Compliments

IF someone compliments you, how do you respond? Can you take compliments? How does it make you feel? How about uncomfortable?  What do they want? What comes to mind?  What do you say to them? Do you find them sincere?

Isn’t it fascinating that when someone passes you by and calls you the “B” word? “Bitch.” That happens to me when I am in a big city. More often than I’d like. I don’t know even know this person? Are they trying to pick a fight?

Of course, I let it go unless I know the person. Then, of course, I want to know if I hurt them somehow. I apologize. I never try to hurt someone on purpose. We can imagine that when people say mean things about us, what do we want to do to them then. I can only imagine.

When people criticize us, that would be really difficult at times and you try to hold back the tongue. Responding to criticism is really hard and we can understand why it’s really hard. It’s directly face-threatening. We too can criticize back at them, but it only makes matters worse.

Our identity is at stake and people are being mean to us. That’s hard. But when people are being kind to us, saying nice things about us, why do we have such a difficult time with that too? That’s what this post is about. Person 1: “You did a great job cleaning up the house.” – Person 2: “Well, I guess you haven’t seen the kid’s room.”

Someone wants to compliment us for cleaning up the house. And then we disagree and say, “Well, we really didn’t do a very good job at all. You didn’t see this other room that I didn’t clean.”  This response is not accepting a compliment, you are placing yourself in your place (sort of speak). Your own low self-esteem place.

These are disagreements and you see these all the time. If you’ve ever wondered why we are doing this, it’s because we feel the pressure not to engage in self-praise or conceit, or arrogance.

We are taught this in church or by our parents who have known arrogant people. Because they feel people think too much of themselves.

So, our parents agree for you not to let it go to your heads. Here is another saying. “We are not good enough!” we do not get enough compliments, “really,” nowadays.

One nice way to respond to a compliment is to say” thank-you, that’s very nice of you to say”. OR “thank you very much”. That’s all you have to say as a response. You don’t have to say, “I got at a bargain at the dollar store”. You just say “Thank you.  It’s a compliment!

Other times at work, Clients or co-workers would give me a gift. I would take it. You see, in my culture, if someone offers you a gift, and if we don’t except it is an insult to the person who offered this gift to you.  So, I wouldn’t reject a gift, my mother would say it was a gift from God. Paying it forward from when you gave sincerely.

In other cultures, people offer you all the best they have, even if it leaves the giver with nothing. If the gift is rejected it is the rudest thing you can do to hurt that person who lovingly gave you the best they had in the whole world and from their heart.

Because it makes them feel like they or their gift are not good enough.  Have you ever gone to a friend’s house and found the gift you took a long time to find for them and it cost you a pretty penny, at their “yard sale”? It hurt. Many people do not realize how much it hurts, when you sincerely, and from the heart give them something and later find it in the trash. It hurts. Please do not be a rude person. Can You Take Compliments?

IF someone compliments you, how do you respond? How do you take compliments? How does it make you feel? How about uncomfortable?  What do they want? What comes to mind?  What do you say to them? Do you find them sincere?

Isn’t it fascinating that when someone passes you by and calls you the “B” word? “Bitch.” That happens to me when I am in a big city. More often than I’d like to admit. I don’t know even know that person? Are they trying to pick a fight?

Of course, I let it go unless I know the person. Then, of course, I want to know if I hurt them somehow. I apologize. I never try to hurt someone on purpose. We can imagine that when people say mean things about us, what do we want to do to them then. I can only imagine.

When people criticize us, that would be really difficult at times and you try to hold back the tongue. Responding to criticism is really hard and we can understand why it’s really hard. It’s directly face-threatening. We too can criticize back at them, but it only makes matters worse.

Our identity is at stake and people are being mean to us. That’s hard. But when people are being kind to us, saying nice things about us, why do we have such a difficult time with it then? That’s what this post is about. Person 1: “You did a great job cleaning up the house.” – Person 2: “Well, I guess you haven’t seen the kid’s room.”

Someone wants to compliment us for cleaning up the house. And then we disagree and say, “Well, we really didn’t do a very good job at all. You didn’t see this other room that I didn’t clean.”  This response is not accepting a compliment, you are placing yourself in your place (sort of speak). Your own low self-esteem place.

These are disagreements and you see these all the time. If you’ve ever wondered why we are doing this, it’s because we feel the pressure not to engage in self-praise or conceit, or arrogance.

We are taught this in church or by our parents who known arrogant people. Because they think too much of themselves.

So, our parents agree for you not to let it go to your head, is another saying. We are not given enough credit, or compliments, really, now a day.

One nice way to respond to a compliment is to say” thank-you, that’s very nice of you to say”. OR “thank you very much”. That’s all you have to say as a response. You don’t have to say, “I got at a bargain at the dollar store”. You just say “Thank you.  It’s a compliment!

When I use to work, Clients or co-workers would give me a gift. I would take it. You see, in my culture, if someone offers you a gift, and we don’t except it is an insult to the person who offered this gift to you.  So wouldn’t reject a gift, my mother would say it was a gift from God. Paying it forward from when you gave sincerely.

In other cultures, people offer you all the best they have, even if it leaves the giver with nothing. If the gift is rejected it is the rudest thing you can do to hurt that person who lovingly gave you the best they had in the whole world from their heart.

Because it makes them feel like they or their gift are not good enough for you.  Have you ever gone to a friend’s house and found the gift you took a long time to find for them and it cost you a pretty penny, at their “yard sale”?

Many people do not realize how much it hurts, when you sincerely, and from the heart give them something and later find it in the trash. It hurts. Please do not be a rude person.

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